10 May 2018

He Was Preparing Me

For many years Mother’s Day had become a day that I thought I was destined to only celebrate my mother and other special women God had placed in my life. As each year passed and the excitement of bringing a life into the world was bypassing me, it became increasingly difficult not to ask God why while desperately trying to cling to some glimmer of hope. Forty years ago, the comments of those with children were oftentimes quite insensitive — sometimes intentional and sometimes simply due to a lack of knowledge. It was not unusual for some to develop and even voice their opinion to my face that either I wasn’t trying hard enough (imagine that), or that I was too involved in ministry and just thought children would be an interruption. T

he fact of the matter is, neither of those assumptions could have been further from the truth! It wasn’t until after years of physical and mental pain and suffering the diagnosis was reached that I was suffering from a little-known disease known as Endometriosis. My very capable and compassionate ob-gyn at that time told my husband and I that unfortunately my case was the worst he had ever seen and since every form of treatment he knew to try had failed, he was going to immediately send me to Cleveland, Ohio to the Cleveland Clinic to a team of specialists. My doctor, as well as the team of specialists informed me that their intense regimen of treatment at that time was the only solution available and if that did not result in curing the disease, there would be no possibility of me ever conceiving a child. Needless to say; the treatments did not work, but God healed me!

Ironically, as I am writing this blog a commercial is airing on television that calls attention to this disease, its symptoms, and potential treatments, and shares a website for further information about Endometriosis. What I would have given to have had at least that bit of support during my years of suffering. After several miscarriages, exploratory surgeries, physical and emotional anguish, God decided enough was enough and He blessed me with my heart’s desire!

Could I have appreciated the treasured gift of motherhood without that awful experience? I believe that I could. I had wonderful examples of motherhood all around me and was blessed with the most wonderful mother that I could have ever asked for. So, I recognized that being able to carry a life, bring a precious little person into the world, and then nurture and care for and guide this child to maturity was the most awesome role anyone could ever have. To this very day, over thirty years later I still remember the very moment I held both of our beautiful baby girls in my arms for the first time.

I can so effortlessly take myself back to kissing them incessantly, giving them their first bath, and that indescribable smell of a new born. I was overwhelmed with the excitement of shopping for the prettiest little outfits, complete with hair accessories, ruffled lace socks and underpants, styling their hair, and taking them places just to show off my beautiful precious bundles of joy! They were born 13 months apart, but for us it was like having twins! Indescribable happiness! When I declared to God that because He had fulfilled my greatest desire and He did not have to do anything else, He determined to show me that His plans far exceeded mine, and He was only just beginning my journey of motherhood. My two precious bundles of joy are gorgeous, talented, accomplished, anointed women of God now. They have expanded my joy with precious little gifts of their own that I adore being their “Mimi”. It is not uncommon for me to look at all of them with tears of gratitude recognizing just how blessed I am.

Throughout this journey and over the course of many years now, God chose not only to open my physical womb, but He opened and filled my spiritual womb with many children! I often reflect upon the word of prophecy that was spoken over me during those years of barrenness. The word that said I would birth many children and have many daughters. I did not see it then, but I know now that God truly was preparing me for motherhood. When the days of despair outnumbered the days of joy, He was preparing my womb, my heart, my mind, and my spirit to conceive. Once God saw fit to open my womb to do exactly what He created it to do, He hasn’t stopped! So, as with all things I rest in the word declared in Isaiah 55: 11 . . . “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”


Source: First Lady Denise