17 Feb 2022

The Confession Of Our Culture Pt. III (The Culture Of Our Marriages)

Earlier this week we celebrated Valentine’s Day. A holiday that sits right smack dab in the middle of what I call “The Love Month”. Economically it is a shot in the arm for businesses and restaurants while consumers spend hundreds of dollars for the one they profess their love and commitment to. If couples don’t celebrate any other holiday throughout the year, Valentine’s Day is the day! Husbands buy roses, chocolates, jewelry . . . anything they think might make their wife’s heart flutter. Wives try to find just the right card to express their feelings, and maybe cook that special meal or don that sexy nightie that’s been tucked away in the closet. Facebook is flooded with romantic postings and expressions of love! All that is wonderful, but the same thought comes to mind that surfaces before, during, and after I witness an extravagant wedding. In no way do I mean that the occasions lack major significance. I only want to promote the importance of the expression of love in our marriages every day. Of course, special occasions bring out the best in us and they should – how we express our love is what adds that spark to the occasion. But don’t our spouses deserve the expression of our love and appreciation every day?

I love celebrations, surprise parties, getting dressed up for date nights, wonderful vacations my husband and I share alone. We are alike in many ways, but naturally differ in some as well. He has always said to me that it is important to treat me special each and every day because he considers me a gift, and that is his way of expressing my appreciation. Hence the reason that I get “just because” gifts without any prompting or making my requests known!

Life is difficult to say the least. Trying to navigate life and all of its mitigating circumstances can put a tremendous strain on even the strongest and most seasoned relationships. Our enemy, Satan knows that if he attacks the marriage, it will have a domino effect on the family, as well as those closely connected. He’s never satisfied with taking one or two people out, he glories in the fact of mass destruction. Therefore, knowing that we have this silent force against us, it requires us to fight, but fight God’s way! How do we fight for our marriages God’s way? First of all, by fighting our enemy with something he knows nothing about . . . LOVE! Our expressions of love can run the gambit from small to huge. As long as it comes from a genuine heart. Life has its way of numbing our feelings. All of its challenges and trials overshadow what once was an ecstatic union brimming with love and anticipation for what the future holds. Yet it is still possible for marriage to not only survive, but to thrive and withstand the buffeting that comes along with it. After 48 years, I don’t think you will find a stronger proponent for strong, healthy, forever marriage, than me!

Yes, all the special occasions are wonderful, don’t stop those! However, when you put forth that special effort to “major in the minors”, those little things that seem to fall by the wayside as the months and years go by, you will experience a relationship that will stand the test of time, filled with love and joy! Little words like “please”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry” speak volumes when expressed sincerely on a regular basis. Making them a normal part of communication demonstrates love in a major way. Try making a big deal out of that morning cup of coffee or breakfast served to you especially if its unexpected. Offering to (temporarily) take on a chore that typically is not on your list of “things to do” says I love you. Openly acknowledging that you love the life you’ve built or are building together can be more inspiring than you think. Our workdays are long, and oftentimes very stressful, so one of the best ways to say “I care” is to greet your spouse at the door with a kiss and a genuine inquiry about their day. It certainly beats being met at the door with a list of complaints about how bad your day was, a list of stuff that needs to be done, or a long spiel about how out of control the kids have been. I think too often we forget about extending to those who are closest to us, the courtesies that mean the most to us. Take a little assessment of how many times over the course of a week that you tell your spouse “I love you”. You may be surprised! Every marriage has a culture, a tenor that is unique to two people who once upon a time professed their never ending love to one another. It takes intentional effort, but all things are possible with God’s love to live out those vows taken “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

Source: New feed