21 Nov 2019

Let It Go!

Last week I wrote about the dangers of being judgmental. While our feelings may have validity, and we have a right to our feelings, sitting in a seat of judgement of ourselves and others can prove detrimental in many ways. I’d like to discuss how holding on to feelings of negativity can tremendously affect one’s ability to move forward.

During our lifetime we all go through a myriad of experiences. That’s one of the reasons why life is often described as a journey. We are on the path of life, but along the way we experience hills, valleys, highs, lows, and many unanticipated occurrences take place oftentimes beyond our immediate control. Sometimes we allow those things to attach themselves to our minds and hearts, which in turn affects our emotions.

As a counselor and a pastor, all too often I encounter people who have experienced negativity that has stagnated their lives and is holding them captive. I am a strong proponent of introspective examination. Without it, we miss the opportunity to discover the things in our lives that are unhealthy and prohibiting us to enjoy life to the fullest.

Letting go can prove to be more difficult than holding on sometimes. We can hold on to things and easily hide them. We supposedly let them die for lack of attention, but in actuality they don’t die they just lie dormant waiting to resurface at the most inopportune time.

So how do we let it go?

1. First identify that there has been and yet still is a problem.
2. Stop re-living the problem and determine to address it head on.
3. Take full responsibility for your part while assessing the part others played in the situation.
4. Forgive yourself and the others involved.
5. Understand that in letting go, you must face and allow the emotions to process naturally, i.e. fear, pain, anger, frustration, etc.
NOTE: Although these emotions have been present before, when they surface this time declare that it is for the purpose of resolution.
6. Now release yourself from the past, break the attachment.
7. Replace the painful memories, with peaceful, positive thoughts and memories.
8. If your environment is a source of contention and strife, investigate how you can remove yourself in order to prohibit falling into the same trap.
9. Learn from your experience! Great lessons can be learned from the good and the bad we experience in life.
10. Involve yourself in things, and associate yourself with people that are happy.
11. Celebrate yourself and the accomplishment of letting go. See yourself and your future through clearer lenses.

Source: First Lady Denise