30 Apr 2020

Boxed In

I am opening today’s blog with a notification that this will likely be one of the most transparent blogs I have published in a long time. Hopefully, my openness will serve as a catalyst for someone to not only acknowledge something they have been holding back or have buried for a long time. During this global pandemic, and the weeks that we have been ordered to “stay at home”, I have taken the time to do some soul searching. You see, I believe it is hypocritical for one to be a leader of any sort and have the privilege of a platform to advise and encourage others to do things they do not do themselves. That is something I constantly check myself with so as not to be guilty of expecting behavior from others I do not practice.

During the process of self-evaluation, I would say that although I do not consider myself an aggressive individual, I do not put myself in the category of being passive either. So, I guess that would put me somewhere in the middle of the road between the two. For a leader or someone in the public eye, that can work for you as well as against you. In these very uncertain times, as a Christian I do believe that we are living in the last days. To put it plainly, I believe the return of Jesus Christ for His children is soon to come. It has been said by some that we are living in the best of times, as well as the worst of times. I must say that I agree. Considering all the aforementioned statements, I have reached the conclusion that whatever I endeavor to do, have dreamed of, purposed in my heart, must be done NOW! Many times, I have wrestled with the fact that I have wasted so much time second guessing myself, and being overly critical of my qualifications, credentials or lack thereof.

I have come to realize that each time I have engaged in that thought process for any reason, I have boxed myself in! Boxed myself into what? Boxed myself into a life that is substandard to what God’s purpose is for me! You see boxing oneself in is a process. It’s actually the process of building. Every building should have a foundation, something that the structure can be erected on. That foundation is our purpose – what we were created to do. But for me (and it is my guess for some of you as well), I erected that building according to my specifications and not God’s! Somewhere along the line I determined that a studio apartment was good enough, going against God’s specifications and the architecture for a mansion! I hope you’re not reading this thinking that I am speaking of a house or home in which I live. I am metaphorically speaking of LIFE and all the plans God has in store for me! All the plans God has in store for you! For a person who has built her life around living according to God’s Word, I had the startling revelation that I may have taken Paul’s words to the Philippians in chapter 4 verse 12 too far. He tells them he knows how to be abased, and how to abound. In other words, Paul knew how to be satisfied with little and how to be happy with abundance. There have been far too many times that I got stuck with satisfaction. Satisfaction is good, it’s admirable, but when God has more for you, you’re boxing yourself in thinking your humility is a good thing and you decide to just remain “there”. But what follows verse 12 is verse 13, that comes with a declaration that serves us all well to live by. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”. What that really means is whatever Christ has for you to do, He will supply the power. Whatever gift He gives you, He will furnish everything needed to fulfill the manifestation of that gift because He wants His will to be carried out through you!

I have accomplished a lot in my lifetime and for that I am forever grateful and humbled to be chosen by God as one of His vessels. But so much has gone undone. Why . . . because I boxed myself in. I put limitations where God had already granted freedom and access. I categorized myself out of places where God has already strategized not only my entrance but also my success. I cannot thank this dreadful disease for making me see the box I have called my residence for too long, but I can certainly thank my Father for allowing me the time and the opportunity to see that it is time to break out! Piece by piece, I am tearing it down with all the vigor, enthusiasm, and excitement the Holy Spirit has ignited within me. So, won’t you join me? It’s time to come out of hiding, come out of the shadows, and break forth into your destiny!